When Did You Reject Yourself?

In the search for self acceptance you have to acknowledge the point when you rejected yourself. Mine was around 12. My sister, who is still one of the most beautiful people I know + thinspiration for most of my life was 13 and “developing.” She has always been smaller than me. Her clothes were always cutier. I, however, looked like a roly poly and had no personal style. My sister had these stacks of magazines full of women and clothes I couldn’t relate to. In an effort to find myself I began to look for people who were shaped like me, but where I lived there were none. My mom always tried to make me feel beautiful and empowered, but she couldn’t carry the weight of the fact that I had no one physically to look up to or admire. My goal at 12-18 was simply to find someone who looked like me and loved themselves so they could show me how to do the same. For years 21-25, my goal was to lose all the weight & be this image that is photoshopped or surgically made. At 28/29 I figured out no one has it ALLLLL together, at 30 I found Facetune & discovered that I too could cultivate a fake image and at 31 I realized true happiness with myself in relation to others. The honest truth is being body positive isn’t being body perfect it’s just showing up saying yes these knees knock and these breast may sag an y’all gonna see how unashamed I am about alllll of it. We just all need to know where I fall my “sister” may be able to help me up. That’s all we can really hope to have anyway in a sister, friend, or mentor... someone who knows your day-to-day struggles and supports you through them. XOXO Jamie